" Yes." His voice sounds odd. "Follow me." As we walk he says, "It's a little unusual but it's a very important job." Is it here at the old ... um ... retirement center?" Old folks' home?" He laughs. "Yes. I'll explain in a second."We enter the lounge and it is filled with about 20 old men and 5 old women. It's apparent they are waiting for Grandpa and me."This is my granddaughter Christina," he announces to everyone.There are replies of "Hi." and I swear it feels like some of the old guys are giving my 5' 5", 125 pound body a look over. I am creeped out."You're pretty," an old man says. "I like brunettes."Noted. One dirty old man."Have a seat, Christina," Grandpa says. "We need to talk and this is never easy to say to any potential helper."I take a seat at a card table."Stop it," an old woman giggles. The man next to her is playing grab ass. It's fun to see old people like that. They all are the healthiest, most energetic, old folks I've seen."Christina." Grandpa's voice sounds. I like you but Im not ready to be anything other than what I am. Im not ready for us. I dont know if I ever will be. He said softly. I sat up to be level with him. It was hard to be mad at him. He was confused, lost, somewhere between gay and straight and didnt have a compass to help him find the way. And, yet, it was painful to realize that what I felt for him might not be what he felt for me. What was I doing? I was putting myself out there even though I knew it might hurt. So am I just someone that youre experimenting with to figure things out? No! Youre more than that. You say that but how do I know that one day I wont walk downstairs to go to school and find you too embarrassed to talk to me because what weve done? That you wont avoid me? He hung his head and I instantly felt like the worlds biggest dick. Why was I always the dick? I scooted closer to him on the bed and put my arm around him. I resolved to be better, stronger, what he needed me to be. Im sorry. If you need time.
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